Why are you still so afraid?! – Vienna

When I was 24, and has so much going on in my life.. My favourite friend said I live this song and told me to slow down a bit ‘coz I’m going way too fast and stop thinking too much about the future while I should be enjoying life.. Well, during that time, I have this vision of myself that’s exactly who I wanted to be when I turn 35.. I kept working on with that vision until I’ve been able to achieve it at the age of 28, the turn around was really fast ain’t it?! somehow I’m satisfied… everything was going well until I’ve become sick with CKD… everything has to stop including the life that I wanted, the vision that I’ve worked for, the dreams I’m molding…

Listening to this song brings back memories of me when I was 24, dreaming and determined… I am now 31 and I kept thinking about what life has done to me. My dreams were gone before my eyes and I can’t even see a vision of me now not even at the age of 35… Just as this road I’m walking on is way too dark and life gets really rough for me, I’m trying to open my eyes to the things God wants me to see. I’m trying to understand his purpose of why this happened… Today, I feel very weak and disabled… I want to have that feeling I used to have when I was 24, to dream again… to hope for a brighter tomorrow once again… I hope I’m strong enough to overcome this darkness…


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