My fourth dialysis is nearly coming again yet wounds from the previous one nor from the first one haven’t healed yet. It’s too painful that I just want it to stop and when I asked what will happen to me if I don’t go through my dialysis sessions anymore? They say that I can’t because my body will eventually shut down and I will die. This got me really scared!
These past few months, I have learned what real suffering is. There is nothing more fatal when you start bargaining your life to God asking him to heal you and extend your years alive. All my life, this is the most difficult time I’ve come across with. My lifetime savings are slowly fading away and there is an increasing need of resources due to my medical treatments, resigned my job because it’s not advisable to work with my condition, every injection hurts and as my blood goes through the dialysing machine each time is a screaming pain, foods doesn’t taste as they used to anymore due to the metallic taste that never goes away, every day is a struggle and praying each night that I’d still wake up in the morning. As my condition progresses, I’m coming to learn how to truly value life. And in my preoccupied thoughts, so much of my perspectives and dreams are slowly changing to another direction. No one knows how my story would end, but I’m praying that God will give me the strength to endure all the pain and time will come that I will get through this.
Through this difficult time of my life, these are some of the things I learned which I recommend for my readers to understand:
1.) There is a God, never doubt his greatness. Just trust his will.
2.) Hard times will reveal those who truly cares for you, most will share your laughter but only few will help carry your pain.
3.) Your value is not determined by your valuables, real security can only be found in that which can never be taken from you.
4.) Guilt will leave you restless.
5.) Nothing can change from jealousy or hurting. Forgive and move on.
6.)Do what you think is right and fight for what you think is right. Know your worth and never put aside your principles when trials come to you.
7.) Don’t be mean to others; you don’t know what they’re going through.
8.) Value relationships and treat everyone with respect.
It’s been awhile since I haven’t been able to blog here, I’ll try to write more articles here again as I used to sharing with y’all another chapter of my life. It is a difficult battle yet I’m still hopeful that things will workout fine.